Worthwhile Denial OR It Took You Long Enough
by LeanaLynx
Summary: Holly loves Artemis, but is in denial so she makes him fall in love with a crazy girl from another dimension. Will she stop playing cupid before it is too late? Will Artemis ever escape the obsessed stalker/fan? AxOC but eventually AH. Set after TTP.
1. Chapter 1

HOW TO PRONOUNCE THE TITLE: Worthwhile denial (get it? it rhymes!) - OR - It Took You Long Enough (to be said under you breath in a highly sarcastic manner)

Disclaimer: I am not Eoin Colfer.

Just a question: Are disclaimers really necessary or is it all an elaborate plot to mess with my mind? I'm honestly curious.

I LOVED the 6th book! So this is set after TTP. So if you haven't read it, read it NOW!

* * *

Marie woke up. I was her birthday! She was sooo excited!

"It's my birthday! I'm sooo excited!" she yelled. She jumped out of bed and ran to her bookshelf.

Every single one of the Artemis Fowl books was neatly lined up on the top shelf.

Marie was a huge fan of the books. She had read each one of them at least ten times, and practically knew them by heart. "Hello my darling books," she crooned, "Mommy's here and it's her birthday!" She paused briefly, as if she was waiting for the books to answer.

If the books gave any response, Marie didn't notice it. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. There's no pressure."

There was still no reply.

Marie gave the books on last loving look before darting out into the kitchen, accidentally running into the wall on her way. But that was not at all unusual. Because of her daily wall-banging, there was a permanent dent in the wall right outside her bedroom.

Marie glanced around the seemingly empty kitchen. "Mom! Dad! Are you guys awake?"

Her parents suddenly popped up from behind the table. "Happy Birthday, honey," her mom said.

Marie pretended to be surprised to please her parents. "Wow! There you guys are! I thought you were still asleep."

"And forget your birthday? What kind of parents do you think we are?"

Marie grinned widely. "The best ones in the world."

Her mother went misty eyed for a few seconds, then pulled herself together, and hastily said, "So, is the birthday girl ready for her birthday cake?"

Marie's father groaned. "Come on. Cake for breakfast? Can't we just wait a few more hours?'

Smiling, Marie shook her head. "It's tradition Dad. You know that we do this every year."

"Only because you're too impatient to wait. But you're sixteen years old now. Haven't you grown out of this?"

Marie thought about it for a second. Then she said, "There are two things I will never grow out of. One of them is my love for Artemis Fowl. The other is my tradition of eating birthday cake for breakfast." Then she smiled, quite proud of her conclusion.

Marie's mother looked at her father reproachfully. "Dear, our daughter is incredibly stubborn. You should know that by now."

Her father tried to look remorseful, but only succeeded in looking like he had just smelled something disgusting. He then attempted to make amends by lighting the candles on Marie's double chocolate birthday cake. Her mother nodded approvingly.

"Okay, is everyone ready to sing? Good. One… two… three…"

Marie winced when her parents started singing. Fighting to keep the grin on her face, all she could do was wait for it to be over.

"_Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Marieeeeeeeee! Happy Birthday to You!"_

"Now blow out the candles and make a wish, sweetie," her mother enthusiastically ordered.

Marie closed her eyes. There was only one thing that she wanted.

_I wish I could actually meet Artemis Fowl._

Then she blew out the candles, sealing her wish. Suddenly, she felt a little lightheaded. She dizzily tried to open her eyes, but found that she couldn't. She fell over, and hit the floor.

That was when she lost consciousness.

* * *

Thousands of miles underground, Holly Short sighed. Once again, she had caught herself thinking of Artemis Fowl. That boy was more trouble than he was worth. Why had she ever become involved with him?

After she had returned from the past, she had told Artemis that she regretted leading him on, but she could not forget what had happened. She had kissed him! _She _had kissed_ him_! There was nobody to blame this whole situation on but herself.

Holly wasn't even sure why she had done it. Of course, she had blamed it on the fact that her adolescent emotions had gotten in the way, but was that the real reason? She just wasn't sure.

Her plan was to avoid Artemis as much as possible until she got herself under control, but so far nothing had changed.

When she talked to him, they could still act like friends. However, sometimes it seemed like he was looking at her differently –not in a bad way though.

So Holly did the most logical thing she could think of. She decided to come up with a new plan.

_What can I do that will fix this? Well, am only certain of a few things. I know that I do NOT like Artemis as more than a friend (hopefully(BE QUIET YOU STUPID VOICE!!)). I also know that half of the problem is that he DOES like me, no matter how hard he tries to hide it. _

_Hmmmmmm…._

Holly was getting nowhere. Unlike Artemis, she was not very good at thinking of brilliant plans.

Swearing loudly, Holly stood up. She needed to take action. It was not like her to sit still and do nothing about solving her problems. With this in mind, she reached for her communicator to call Foaly and apply for an aboveground visa. She would talk to that mud boy if it killed her!

* * *

Artemis Fowl was completely unaware that Holly was thinking about him, although if he had known, his reaction would have been priceless.

No, he had better things to worry about. His concentration was needed for his "project." And his current project was a large piece of blank canvass. For he, Artemis Fowl II, was going to be an artist. Of course, he was an expert at forging masterpieces, but he had never created one of his own. And since he was going to give up his criminal enterprises, he thought it would be a good idea to have a few hobbies.

He had just picked up a paintbrush when he heard a loud crash behind him. With reflexes that would have made Holly proud, he whipped around to investigate. To his extreme surprise, he saw a girl sitting on the floor, rubbing her head. It appeared that she had tripped over an armchair and hit her head on the floor.

But it was not her apparent clumsiness that surprised him. This strange girl had appeared out of nowhere. She was wearing purple pajamas with bunnies and stars. Her hair was messy, as if she had just gotten out of bed.

Artemis could only stare.

The girl stared back. Then she blurted out, "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"

Artemis was taken aback."_Your_ house? This is my house."

The girl looked around with wide eyes. "You're right. This is _not_ my house." She looked lost. "But where is my family? And who are you?"

Artemis almost pitied her, but then he reminded himself that she had interrupted his first attempt at painting. "You will either tell me why you are here, or I will be forced to summon Butler. And he will not be as kind as I am." It was a lie. Butler was dropping off Artemis' parents at the airport, but the girl didn't know that.

The girl was silent for a few seconds. "It was my birthday. I remember my parents singing to me. Then I closed my eyes and made a wish and…" she trailed off. Suddenly her eyes lit up with understanding. "What is your name?'

Artemis impatiently waved her question away. "That is not important."

"Yes it is!"

Wondering if he was making a mistake, Artemis decided that there was no reason not to tell the girl his name. "My name is Artemis Fowl."

If it was possible, the girl's eyes got even wider. "You're Artemis Fowl?"

"Yes. Do you need me to repeat everything I say before you can understand it?"

Then the strange girl did something even stranger. She looked him straight in the eye and breathlessly said, "Can I kiss your feet?"

Artemis' eyebrows shot up. "Pardon me?"

"Can I kiss your feet?"

For the second time since the girl's arrival, Artemis was at a loss for words.

The girl blushed. "I'm sorry. It's just… you're here! I never thought I'd see you. So you understand that I'm a little surprised."

"What?" Artemis asked.

"You're my favorite character. My wish must have come true. Do you mind if I just stare at you?"

Artemis was incredibly confused now. "Umm… yes, actually I do mind. You are starting to worry me."

"I'm sorry about the foot comment. I just wanted to worship you. Is that too much to ask?"

At that, Artemis gave up talking to her and simply ran out of the room, locking the door behind him. He could hear the girl banging on the door, yelling at him to wait for her. He leaned against the wall, trying to think of a suitable course of action.

_When in doubt, call Butler. _Artemis pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number that only he knew.

Butler answered on the first ring. He sounded worried. "Master Artemis? Is something wrong?"

Artemis tried to sound reassuring, but his voice was a higher pitch than normal. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm not hurt at all. It's just… well, how fast can you get here?"

"Give me ten minutes. If you are really in no danger, I will hang up now and concentrate on driving." Butler knew Artemis would explain the situation later. After all, no cell phone was absolutely safe from Foaly's interference.

"Don't worry about me," Artemis said. Then he ended the call.

_Now all I can do is wait. Hmm… I wonder if there is any caviar in the kitchen…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reviewing! I didn't realize how much reviews can motivate someone to update quicker until just now.**

**And no, I am not Marie. I am not quite that crazy. I do talk to my books sometimes though…**

Artemis watched Butler pace back and forth in the kitchen. It was obvious that the bodyguard was distraught. He had just gone over the security tape, and watched as the girl popped into existence with no logical explanation.

Butler turned to face his teenage charge. "I don't understand. Nobody can just appear from thin air. It's impossible." His eyebrows were knit together. "You should know that more than anyone else, Artemis."

Artemis appeared to be deep in thought. "Yes, I am well aware of the laws of physics," he remarked absently.

"Do you think there could be any – _fairy _– involvement?"

Artemis was not surprised by this comment. He was used to dealing with extraordinary happenings. However, he shook his head slightly. "No, I think Holly would tell me before attempting anything magical in the Fowl Manor."

Butler almost smiled at the way Artemis immediately thought of his favorite fairy, and even used her first name. But there were more important things to concentrate on now. "Maybe it wasn't Captain Short. She might not know anything about this."

Artemis nodded. "Anything's possible. However, I can think of only one _probable_ explanation."

Raising one eyebrow, Butler waited for the teenager to elaborate. When Artemis didn't appear to be forthcoming, he cleared his throat loudly.

Artemis narrowed his eyes, annoyed at having his train of thought interrupted. "Do you remember when we went back in time?"

"How could I forget?"

"Well, when we arrived at the Fowl Manor of about six years ago, we seemed to _appear out of thin air. _On the security tape, that's exactly what it looked like."

"So you think this girl is from the future?"

"It's really the only thing I can think of to explain this."

"But how can we know for sure?"

Artemis smirked. "Why Butler! You _are_ a military man, aren't you? Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called _interrogation_?"

Butler looked suspiciously at Artemis. "What exactly do you mean by 'interrogation'?"

"Oh, nothing much. We'll just have a friendly chat. You know, from one fellow time traveler to another."

Butler was not reassured.

* * *

Marie knew that she should be terrified. She was locked up in a strange room and was soon going to meet one of the most dangerous men in the world (According to her Artemis Fowl books. And she practically worshipped her books). But she was too busy running around the room to be terrified.

"OOOOH! Artemis touched this _actual_ paintbrush! And he sat in this _actual _chair! And he drank out of this _actual_ soda can!"

She paused mournfully. "I wish I was a soda can!"

Suddenly, the ridiculousness of this statement struck her. If it was possible for her to mentally roll her eyes, she would have. Marie whispered quietly to herself, "Okay, calm down. You are a completely rational human being. There is no reason to freak out. It's not like** he** is going to come in here and treat you any differently than he would any random trespasser. Hmm… how _would_ he treat a random trespasser? Should I be scared?"

As much as she loved Artemis Fowl, she did not want to get on his bad side. With this in mind, she decided to sit down calmly and wait for the questioning that would soon be coming. She didn't have to wait long. After a few short minutes, there was a loud knock on the door. Frankly, Marie was surprised that they would bother to knock. She sat up straighter and tried to appear brave.

The door opened and two people came in. Artemis entered first, closely shadowed by his bodyguard, who was glancing suspiciously around the room. Marie tried not to react to Artemis' intense gaze, but she found herself blushing despite herself. The two men walked towards her menacingly, and sat down in two armchairs that were not any farther than three feet away from her.

Artemis attempted to smile. Even Marie had to admit that it was a rather pitiful attempt. Nevertheless, she grinned widely back. She knew that she really should try to be good, but she was sitting _right next to Artemis Fowl!_ There was only one option available: adoration. If he had a problem with that, he could lock her in one of the manor's prisoner cells… not that she'd mind.

Artemis did not appear to be initiating the conversation. He was just studying her intently. Marie decided to break the ice.

"H-h-hi… I'm Marie." _Wow, that sounded incredibly intelligent. He probably thinks I'm brain dead now._

The young genius raised one eyebrow. "I have no particular interest in your name."

"Oh."

Artemis leaned forward slightly. "I _would _like to know why you appeared in my house out of nowhere."

Marie was torn between feeling scared and swooning. "Ummm… actually, I am not quite… That is to say I really don't…"

Artemis looked pointedly at his watch. "I am a busy man. I do not have time for a stuttering buffoon. Please, get to the point."

If it was anyone else, Marie would have replied with a caustic remark, but when Artemis Fowl called her a "stuttering buffoon" it sounded almost like a compliment. She cleared her throat to give herself a few more seconds to gather her thoughts, and then launched herself into the story.

"I… I guess it started when I woke up this morning. It was my birthday. Well, actually it still is my birthday. But you don't care. Right. Ummm… okay, so then my parents sang to me, and I blew out my candles and made a wish. And then I showed up here."

"And what was your wish?" Artemis inquired impatiently.

Marie did not respond right away. She knew that she could not tell Artemis that there were several books about him. Not only would he think she was crazy, but he might consider her to be a threat if she knew all of his secrets. "I… wished that I could… meet the world's most famous… uhhh… criminal mastermind?"

Surprisingly, he seemed to accept her explanation. Turning to Butler, he motioned towards the door. They stood up and walked away. Artemis turned around and spoke once more to Marie, "Thank you for your help. I trust that you will be comfortable here. I will send Butler with lunch in a few hours."

Marie frowned. "Wait! You're leaving me here?"

Artemis inclined his head slightly, and coldly said, "Well, I'm afraid the mysterious appearance of a teenage girl in my house is considered by my bodyguard to be a potential risk to my personal safety. You will have to remain here until we can be sure that you do not present any danger to us."

Without giving her a chance to respond, he closed the door. Marie heard the lock click behind him.

* * *

Butler was confused. They had talked to the girl for no more than two minutes. Artemis was usually a very thorough young man. Why would he allow the girl to fabricate some unbelievable story? It did not make sense.

Artemis walked into the kitchen, with Butler following behind him. He sat down casually. "That girl is smarter than she looks."

Butler was taken aback by this comment. "What do you mean?"

"Appearances may be deceiving," Artemis said sarcastically, "but if you look past those ridiculous pajamas, you might be surprised. That girl is from a different dimension."

Butler's eyes narrowed, unbelievingly.

"You are going to ask how I know this. Well, I can assure you that I am _not_ crazy. After an enlightening discussion with No1, I learned that sometimes the line between dimensions can get blurred. About once every few centuries, a time traveler accidentally passed through that line. Very few make it back to their own dimension. I could tell that the girl was from a different dimension because of a faint glow from her skin. It is one of the common side effects of dimension travelling, although it is so faint that very few people notice. It fades after a few days."

Butler did _not_ like the sound of this. "More magic? Just what we need," he groaned.

Artemis could not prevent a smirk from forming on his face. "Indeed. The girl was wise not to tell me what had happened. It is what I would have done in her situation."

"So now what do we do?"

"We wait."

* * *

Holly had argued with Foaly for half an hour before the centaur had finally agreed to let her visit Artemis. It was only after she told him that there was a definite possibility of the mud man getting a black eye that he finally gave in to her pleas. She was now on her way to the surface. And Artemis was _going _to have a nice, long talk with her.

There were just too many conflicting thoughts! She had to get them off her chest, or she would go mad. She didn't know how the confrontation would end. Either she would make him end his little "crush" for good or she would accept his feelings and maybe even admit to harboring her own immature, romantic hopes. It would be up to him which one she chose. If the conversation went well…

But that didn't matter until she actually got to Fowl Manor. For now, she had to concentrate on flying.


	3. Chapter 3

Marie had a plan. It was a very evil plan (according to her standards). It was a plan that would probably end in disaster. It was a plan that would involve a tremendous amount of lying. Marie thought it was a pretty good plan.

"Artemmmmmiiissssssss! Artemis Fowwwlllll!!!" she shouted. "Artemis! Get over here!"

She paused briefly, marveling at how good it felt to be saying his name. It certainly had a ring to it…

"Artemis Fowl! Hellooooo?"

It only took a minute or so of desperate yelling for Marie to hear footsteps outside the door. She grinned in triumph, proud of her ability to be so obnoxious.

"What is going on in there?" asked a gruff voice.

Marie sighed. So it wasn't Artemis. How depressing. But Butler was nearly as good.

"What's going on?" Butler demanded again from outside.

Marie blinked in confusion for a few seconds, and then she remembered her plan. "Uhhh… oh yeah! I was uhhh…" she stammered. Now came the hard part. Marie had never been a very good liar. "I – heh heh – uhhh… I actually… uhh… havetogotothebathroom!"

Butler unlocked and opened the door, raising his eyebrows skeptically. "You have to go to the bathroom?" he questioned.

And now came the evil part. Marie knew she really shouldn't, but she was in the actual house of The Artemis Fowl. This was her one chance to explore Fowl Manor like the stalker she was.

Marie sniffed haughtily, looking straight into the bodyguard's eyes. "Men never understand these things. I am a _lady_, and I need to go to the bathroom for _ladies' reasons_."

Butler looked at her blankly.

"_Monthly_ ladies' reasons. You get it now?"

Apparently he had, judging by the color of his face. Marie was fascinated; she had never seen anyone blush that much. The expression "red as a tomato" suddenly took on a whole new meaning.

"Oh! Ummm… right this way, please," Butler muttered, his eyes fixed on the floor. He led her to a bathroom a few doors down.

"Thank you," Marie said, marching into the bathroom. "I'll let you know when I'm ready for you to escort me back."

Butler started to protest, but Marie cut him off by closing the door in his face. Then she settled herself comfortably in the bathtub, wondering how long it would take Butler's face to return to its normal color. She listened to his footsteps getting quieter as he walked away from the bathroom.

Yes, she was evil, all right. But what else could you expect from somebody whose idol was a criminal mastermind?

* * *

Holly Short considered knocking, but decided that she was too impatient to wait for somebody to get the door. She flew around Fowl Manor a few times, searching for an entrance. After a few circles, she found a chimney that looked promising. She half-flew and half-fell down it, mentally chastising herself for being so clumsy, but too preoccupied to care.

Holly tried to focus on her upcoming task. She was here about to talk to Artemis. Artemis, with his glossy hair, his intelligent eyes, his pathetic-yet-endearing smile...

Just then, the distracted elf bumped into the wall of the chimney rather painfully.

Soot scattered, making Holly cough. She rolled out of the fireplace covered in ash. Holly tried to wipe some of it off of her face with little success. She was smeared head to foot with it. "Well, _this_ is attractive," she mumbled.

"Affirmative," responded a low voice to Holly's left.

She whipped around, scanning the room for the source of the voice. There were several leather armchairs facing a window that overlooked the driveway. Holly didn't see anyone, but the chairs were tall enough to conceal a Butler-sized mud man.

"Artemis?" Holly asked in a weak voice. "Is that you?"

Her worst fears were confirmed when she heard a soft chuckle. A soft, familiar chuckle. Artemis rose from the center armchair, smirking when he saw Holly's sooty face.

"Why don't you sit down," Artemis offered, "and we can continue this conversation more comfortably."

Holly stared at her feet for a few seconds, gathering her courage. Then she met Artemis' eyes with a steely glare. "No comments, mud boy," she growled. "You don't want to get on my bad side today."

Artemis raised his hands in surrender, but the smile stayed on his face. "No comments from me," he assured her. "I won't speak for Butler though, when he sees the mess you've made on his clean floor."

Holly rolled her eyes, but she was secretly impressed by Artemis' almost-joke. It was nice to talk to him. At least he was never boring. She walked over to one of the armchairs and sat down, spitefully leaving a trail of soot behind her.

"So what brings you here?" asked Artemis, turning to face the window with his back towards Holly. "Another world-threatening crisis for me to solve?"

"Well, not everyone can be a genius," Holly joked.

The genius in question turned around abruptly. "You know, we're not as different as you think," he said. He sighed, returning to sit on the arm of his chair, with his body angled toward Holly.

"What do you mean?"

"We have a lot of similarities," Artemis responded with a slight smile.

"Such as?"

"Well... our eyes, for one," said Artemis. He blinked his eyes to draw attention to their two different colors, his natural blue and the hazel from Holly. "And, well, we're both determined, ambitious, passionate-"

"Yes, we're very passionate," Holly interrupted, leaning forward, closer to Artemis. They froze for a moment, about a foot from each other.

Suddenly, he jerked back, blinking like he had just come out of a trance. "So, as I said... we're similar," he said briskly, standing up again.

Holly nodded. "Where's Butler?" she asked.

"Oh, somewhere around here," Artemis answered. "He's handling a security problem."

"You seem to have a lot of those."

"Too many, in my opinion. But don't worry, I am more than capable of handling them," Artemis said, turning toward the window again.

"I don't doubt it." There was a brief silence in the room, with neither of them knowing what to say. Holly was irritated with herself. Why couldn't she just spit it out already? And it certainly wasn't helping that Artemis wanted to spend the whole conversation with his back to her. Although it was a nice view...

Holly growled. "Artemis, I came all the way up here to talk to you, so would you please sit down and let me talk?"

The teenager sat down again, looking somewhat embarrassed. "Of course," he said.

Holly sighed, unsure of how to begin. "Artemis… "

"Yes?"

"Artemis… how do you feel about me?"

Shocked, he stammered, "Uhh, I… well, I… what exactly do you mean?" He looked down guiltily.

"I think you know what I mean."

Artemis made a strange sort of squeaking sound. If Holly didn't know better, she would have thought there was a hamster hiding somewhere in the room.

"Holly. Do you really want me to tell you?"

"Yes," she responded immediately.

Artemis closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "Well, I guess it's now or never," he said. "Holly, you changed my life in so many ways. You are one of the only people in the world that I truly respect, and when we kissed… well, everything just felt so right, like we were somehow meant to be together. And honestly, Holly, I don't think I could spend my life without you. I know that I'm just a human and you're an elf, but I think I'm in love with you."

Holly was speechless for a few seconds. He had sounded so earnest, and she felt her eyes water up.

"Artemis," she whispered, "I think I love you too."

He breathed out heavily, his eyes widening in astonishment. "Really?" His expression was almost comical.

"Yes."

They moved closer together instinctively, their faces just inches apart. Holly was just about to close the gap when she heard a crash right outside the room.

She jumped. "What was that?"

Artemis frowned in annoyance. "I haven't the slightest clue."

Suddenly the door opened. The two sprung apart awkwardly, looking toward the door where a girl had just entered. Holly scowled when she noticed that the girl looked about Artemis' age.

The girl took a few steps into the room before she noticed Artemis and let out a squeak. "Oh, Artemis, hi!" she said. "Sorry about that vase, I promise I'll pay for it."

"Marie-"

"You know my name?" she asked, giggling. Then she added in an undertone, "Wait, of course you do, you're a genius."

"I'm afraid I can't say the same for you," Holly broke in, angry that some random, _giggling_ girl had just barged in without so much as knocking.

The girl seemed to notice Holly for the first time, gasping in delight. "Holly Short! I am a _huge_ fan! You know, you and Artemis have a lot of chemist-"

"You _told_ her about me?" Holly demanded, glaring at Artemis. "You_ told_ her about fairies?"

Artemis shook his head innocently. "No, I promise I didn't."

Holly didn't seem to hear him. "I can't believe I just told you I _loved you_!"

The entire room got silent. Holly and Artemis were glaring at each other.

Marie looked back and forth between them. "Am I... interrupting something?"

There was no answer.

"Ummm... I'll just be going then," she said, backing towards the door. "Nice to meet you, Holly." Marie smiled, closing the door firmly behind her and then promptly listening through the keyhole. She had a feeling things were about to get interesting. And she was right.

* * *

Artemis Fowl had always trusted his instincts, and right now, his instincts were screaming at him to _back away_ from the angry elf in his drawing room. Holly looked like she was about to hurt somebody, and he didn't want to be in her path of destruction. One of the things Artemis Fowl was an expert in was self-preservation.

"Eh... Holly?" he said nervously. "Are you... okay?"

Holly evidently didn't think that question even deserved an answer. Artemis switched tactics.

"You know I care a lot about you, right?"

Holly breathed in angrily. "You know that you could be arrested for telling a human about fairies, don't you? _I_ could be arrested!"

Artemis nodded hastily. "Yes, I know, but I didn't-"

"And who was that girl anyway?" Holly asked sweetly, which only made her seem more dangerous.

Shrugging, Artemis responded, "Oh, she's just a... girl."

"A girl who just happens to _live with you_? A girl who you conveniently forgot to mention to me?"

"She doesn't live with me. What makes you think that?" Artemis asked in confusion.

Holly rolled her elfin eyes. "_She was wearing pajamas!_ What was I supposed to think?"

"Oh, er, it's not like _that_," Artemis said awkwardly.

"Sure, it's not."

Artemis was shocked to see a tear drip down Holly's cheek. "Look, Holly," he pleaded, "that girl means nothing to me. You're the only one I could possibly _like_ like that. I promise."

Holly loooked down at the floor, avoiding Artemis' gaze. She was silent for almost a minute. Just was Artemis was about to speak again, she said, "Maybe this is for the best. You're a human; you should be with another human!"

"No Holly! You can't believe that I-"

"I don't believe it," Holly interrupted, still looking down. "I don't believe there is anything going on between you and that girl. I'm just saying that... maybe there should be."

"Holly, I-"

"Goodbye, Artemis." Holly walked dejectedly to the window, kicked through the glass, and flew out.

Artemis watched as she became smaller and smaller and eventually disappeared. Then he sat down in the armchair again, staring out the window where Holly had gone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh my Colfer! I am such an idiot," Marie muttered to herself. She smacked her head into her palm. "Such an idiot!"

Her two favorite characters _of all time_ had been standing together in the same room. And to make things even better, they had actually admitted their love for each other! It was like having a front-row seat to the ultimate Artemis-Holly encounter. Like every good Artemis Fowl fan, Marie had been rooting for them since book 1, and it looked like they had finally gotten together!

Until she ruined it all.

And now Holly had flown off, leaving Artemis alone in the room.

"Poor Arty," Marie said. He hadn't made a sound since Holly had left. The poor boy was probably lost in his thoughts. He probably hated her now too. She wouldn't blame him. That thought was the only thing that kept her from breaking down the door to comfort him.

Come to think of it, maybe it was_ too_ quiet. Holly was pretty angry when she had left. What if she had done something to Artemis?

"Artemis?" Marie said hesitantly. "Arty? Are you alive?"

There was no answer whatsoever. Marie started to get worried. Maybe Artemis was unconscious. A severe blow to the head could do that to someone, even if they _were_ a super-genius.

"Oh, no you did NOT just maim my future fictional husband!" Marie yelled, striding toward the door. She grabbed the polished doorknob, and was just about to twist it when a hand - large enough to strangle a small elephant - covered hers.

"Uh oh," Marie squeaked, looking upwards from the hand straight into the face of a very angry Butler.

"'Uh oh' is right," the bodyguard replied menacingly. He placed his other hand on her shoulder, steering her away from the door. "You are coming with me," he continued as they marched down the hallway, giving Marie a particularly dirty glance when they passed the shattered remnants of a priceless Chinese vase.

"But... but..." Marie stammered, unsure of how to tell Butler that Artemis might be in trouble without implicating herself.

"No excuses," Butler interrupted, shaking his head forbiddingly. "You asked for this. I gave you a chance to behave yourself, but you didn't. And I'll tell you something: I am not a man who gives second chances."

Marie gulped loudly, fearing for her life. "Okay, I'm sorry," she muttered, "but let me just say one thing first."

"What?" Butler growled.

"Uhhh... Holly visited."

Butler stopped in his tracks, almost giving Marie whiplash.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, she and Artemis talked for a little while," Marie continued.

Butler's looked absolutely flabbergasted. "Wait, how did you know about-"

"About fairies? Uh... Artemis told me?" Marie giggled awkwardly. "Yeah, so anyways, they looked pretty friendly at first."

Butler leaned forward, concentrating intently on the gossip. "At first? What do you mean? Did something happen?"

"Well, let me give you the short version: Holly loves genius-boy... he loves Holly back... they finally tell each other of their undying love ... umm - something - happens to make Holly angry... Artemis is adorable and begs her forgiveness... Holly doesn't think it'll work out even if Artemis_ does_ have the cutest, glossiest hair I've ever seen... Holly leaves... oh yeah, and Artemis might be dead." Marie nodded. Yeah, that pretty much summed it up.

"WHAT?" Butler yelled again, his expression unreadable.

Marie shuddered, leaning away. "Now don't panic," she said, "I didn't say Artemis _is_ dead, I said he _might be _dead. There's a big difference."

"Oh, I'm sure he's fine," Butler said, waving her comment off. "But do you mean to tell me that Artemis actually admitted that her loves Holly -_to her face, nonetheless_- and they still somehow in denial about it?"

"Uh, yeah," Marie scoffed. He wasn't even concerned about Artemis? This was the man who was supposed to be protecting her hero?

"Are you sure you're qualified for this job, Butler?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips. "I hate to break it to you, but Artemis has to actually be _alive_ for you to be his bodyguard."

Butler blinked several times and shook his head. "Right," he muttered. "Alive. Right."

Marie nodded patiently. "Alive is good," she confirmed. "Now let's go find Artemis! You can worry about punishing me later." Or not...

The bodyguard grudgingly released his hold on her shoulder. He took huge steps back to the closed door. Marie ran to keep up with him, tripping over a piece of the broken vase.

Butler knocked on the door with a loud thud. "Artemis?" he asked cautiously. "Artemis, are you in there?"

There was no answer.

Marie glanced up at Butler. "If he's dead, I would be happy to resusitate him," she volunteered with an evil smile.

Butler looked at her in disgust. "Artemis!" he yelled, "You might want to open this door now! Believe me, it's for your own good!"

A loud, melodramatic groan issued from behind the closed door.

"Please," continued Butler, politely but firmly. "It is my responsibility to ensure your safety. And I assure you that I am _quite_ capable of breaking down this door."

They waited for a few seconds in silence. Then Marie heard faint footsteps. The door swung open slowly with a creak.

Artemis stood in the frame of the door, looking down at his feet. A few inches shorter than him, Marie noticed that his eyes were moist and bloodshot.

"Artemis?" she asked hesitantly. Butler placed a large hand on his charge's shoulder.

Artemis ignored them both and muttered in monotone, "I am completely unharmed, as you can see. Butler, please go take this girl to a guest room. We can deal with her later."

Butler shook his head in concern. "Artemis, what - "

"May I remind you that I am still the master of this house?" Artemis interrupted. "You will do as I say." He closed the door with a sharp thud.

Marie glanced at Butler, who looked rattled by Artemis' behavior.

"Now what?"

He suddenly remembered she was there. "You. Come with me. Now."

"But -"

"NOW."

"...okay."

* * *

Foaly was displeased. His best fairy friend had just confessed her love to that worthless mudboy, and had then promptly gotten her heart broken.

He hacked into her helmet communicator in about seven seconds as any good friend would.

"Holly?" he asked hestitantly, "Are you there?"

"What do you want?" her sharp voice replied, sounding scratchy through the communicator.

"Well, I would like to help you spill some human blood, if you're up for it," he quipped, only half kidding.

After a few seconds of an increasingly awkward silence, the fairy in question finally sighed. "No, not this time, Foaly."

"Well, just remember that violence is always the answer when it comes to that boy."

Holly sighed. "Foaly... how much did you hear?"

"At the risk of sounding cliched... enough." He paused. "You know, if there's anything else I can possibly do -"

"Don't," Holly interrupted. "I have to take care of this by myself. I have to get over this ridiculous, adolescent, unrequited love thing."

"It's not unrequited," Foaly responded cautiously.

"D'Arvit, I _know_! That's the worst part. He _does _love me too. He dangles hope right in front of my nose and then snatches it away."

"Let me get this straight... you want him to _stop_ loving you now." Foaly shook his head in confusion.

"Yes," Holly whispered, "because it's the only way I could ever get over him."

"Ah. I see." Foaly did not see, but had enough tact to keep it to himself.

"I just dont know how..." Holly trailed off. "Wait. Yes, I do know how."

"Holly?" Foaly asked, "What's the crazy plan this time?"

"I am going to pay a little visit to Cupid."

Holly recited a number hurriedly into her communicator. She waited for a few brief seconds, then heard a voice gruffly ask, "What do you want?"

Holly smiled bitterly. Was she really going to do this?

Yes. Yes she was.

"Hello, great-grandfather."


End file.
